So what exactly do a guy who I’d swear was a cannibal, a grown man dressed like a banana, and the proudly self-proclaimed “Beat Your Meat Specialist” have in common?
 
Spoiler alert: they have all somehow managed to find me, despite my efforts to hide in a hole under my porch from this dating dumpster fire.
 
Just when you thought one woman’s savage search for a soulmate couldn’t possibly offer any more insanity, I bring you Confessions II. More dating mishaps and silly life scenarios, more off-the-wall girl chat, more naughty sexploits… but still the same number of suitable prospects. (That number was zero in case you’ve forgotten.)